1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:01,799 - Hi. Eugene Cordero here. 2 00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:03,809 They gave me flesh-colored underwear, 3 00:00:03,810 --> 00:00:06,195 so we already know it's gonna be a great day. 4 00:00:06,196 --> 00:00:08,219 (upbeat music) 5 00:00:08,220 --> 00:00:09,539 - [Vic] Today, we're giving this comedian 6 00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:11,579 a total transformation. 7 00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:12,869 - Oh, great. 8 00:00:12,870 --> 00:00:14,459 - [Vic] They have no idea who 9 00:00:14,460 --> 00:00:16,559 or what they're about to become. 10 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:18,509 Once they see themselves in the mirror, 11 00:00:18,510 --> 00:00:21,029 they'll have to make up a character on the spot, 12 00:00:21,030 --> 00:00:24,192 and then sit down with me for an improvised interview. 13 00:00:24,193 --> 00:00:25,922 - What is happening? (chuckling) 14 00:00:25,923 --> 00:00:28,527 - [Vic] This is "Very Important People". 15 00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:31,650 - You guys, this is so exciting. 16 00:00:31,651 --> 00:00:33,539 (upbeat funky music) 17 00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:35,459 What is happening? (crew laughing) 18 00:00:35,460 --> 00:00:37,829 I got a bunch of bubbles on my bald-ass head! 19 00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:39,569 I'm superhero-ish! 20 00:00:39,570 --> 00:00:41,759 My eyes shouldn't be this close together. 21 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,129 It takes away my whole fucking thing. 22 00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:46,709 Please, zoom in on some of the details 23 00:00:46,710 --> 00:00:49,049 of the fact that my ears are missing. 24 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,399 Am I like an island? 25 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,169 Does something live on my head? 26 00:00:52,170 --> 00:00:53,909 Am I mid-bath right now? 27 00:00:53,910 --> 00:00:55,499 Maybe it's the color of the suit. 28 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:57,823 I weirdly feel dolphin-ish. 29 00:00:57,824 --> 00:00:58,656 (Eugene mimics dolphin squeaks) 30 00:00:58,657 --> 00:01:01,889 I'm straight bleach, motherfucker. (laughs) 31 00:01:01,890 --> 00:01:02,849 Wee! 32 00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:05,159 I just don't like the bald head. 33 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:06,646 I think that's what it is. 34 00:01:06,647 --> 00:01:09,814 (bright upbeat music) 35 00:01:17,632 --> 00:01:20,284 - [Vic] Vic is a good host. 36 00:01:20,285 --> 00:01:22,039 Vic is a good host. 37 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,917 Vic is a good host. 38 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,639 Vic is a good host. 39 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,578 Vic is a good host. 40 00:01:27,579 --> 00:01:29,222 Vic is a good host. 41 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,182 Vic is a good host. 42 00:01:30,183 --> 00:01:31,771 Vic is a good host. 43 00:01:31,772 --> 00:01:33,605 (Vic exhales pensively) 44 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,421 We all have a story to tell, 45 00:01:40,422 --> 00:01:41,254 (door opens) 46 00:01:41,255 --> 00:01:42,449 and sometimes those stories need 47 00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:44,189 to be shared with the world. 48 00:01:44,190 --> 00:01:45,779 Good evening, I'm Vic Michaelis, 49 00:01:45,780 --> 00:01:50,727 back with another edition of "Very Important People". 50 00:01:51,151 --> 00:01:53,047 Oh! 51 00:01:53,048 --> 00:01:55,409 (bubbles burbling) (triumphant music) 52 00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:57,059 Wow! What an entrance. 53 00:01:57,060 --> 00:01:58,319 - Thank you. - Absolutely incredible! 54 00:01:58,320 --> 00:01:59,729 Please introduce yourself. 55 00:01:59,730 --> 00:02:01,199 - Sudzo! 56 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,943 You may have seen me over the last two weeks. 57 00:02:06,285 --> 00:02:07,609 (pensive music) 58 00:02:07,731 --> 00:02:10,049 - I have- - If you didn't 59 00:02:10,050 --> 00:02:12,059 know me as Sudzo before, 60 00:02:12,060 --> 00:02:14,849 you probably, if you're from this town, 61 00:02:14,850 --> 00:02:16,592 know me as Frederick. 62 00:02:16,593 --> 00:02:18,009 (pensive music) 63 00:02:18,451 --> 00:02:20,669 This is for you, by the way. 64 00:02:20,670 --> 00:02:22,679 It doesn't have any powers, that's just, 65 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:23,661 I just brought it. - Oh! 66 00:02:23,662 --> 00:02:25,091 - Yeah, yeah, it has bubbles. 67 00:02:25,092 --> 00:02:26,099 Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, fun. 68 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:27,989 - Oh, I never thought to like, 69 00:02:27,990 --> 00:02:29,549 take the bubbles out and then swing at 'em. 70 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:30,413 - Oh, did you wanna- - Can I grab that back? 71 00:02:30,414 --> 00:02:31,409 - Okay, yeah. Oh, no problem. - Yeah. 72 00:02:31,410 --> 00:02:32,429 - So I'll sort of give that back. 73 00:02:32,430 --> 00:02:33,929 These bubbles. Okay. 74 00:02:33,930 --> 00:02:35,337 And we'll take our seat, thank you. 75 00:02:35,338 --> 00:02:37,159 - (laughs) Yeah! 76 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,179 Ah, I gotta get another one of those. 77 00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:41,459 - Sudzo, it is absolutely incredible to have you here. 78 00:02:41,460 --> 00:02:44,729 As everybody knows, two weeks ago, the laundromat incident. 79 00:02:44,730 --> 00:02:49,469 - I was there doing laundry like any normal citizen. 80 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:51,329 - Sure, unless you have a washer-dryer in your unit. 81 00:02:51,330 --> 00:02:52,949 - Yeah, that would be nice. - Yeah. 82 00:02:52,950 --> 00:02:55,169 - And was doing whites. 83 00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:57,149 - And that elderly woman put an entire box 84 00:02:57,150 --> 00:02:59,729 of off-brand Tide Pods in her laundry. 85 00:02:59,730 --> 00:03:00,599 - I'm watching her do it. 86 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:01,589 - Why didn't you say anything? 87 00:03:01,590 --> 00:03:03,269 - I mean, I wasn't a superhero at the time. 88 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:04,919 - Well, I mean, you could have just said something. 89 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:06,299 - Why? She's an older lady. 90 00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:07,829 She's figured some of it out. 91 00:03:07,830 --> 00:03:09,569 - The entire laundromat starts filling with soap. 92 00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:12,449 - I thought I was done. I looked over at the old lady. 93 00:03:12,450 --> 00:03:15,299 She was, you know, done. 94 00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:16,769 - Yes, she unfortunately passed away, 95 00:03:16,770 --> 00:03:18,719 'cause the hydro cannon sort of blasted her 96 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:19,979 immediately into the windows. 97 00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:21,340 - [Sudzo] Oh, dang. - She did one of these. 98 00:03:21,341 --> 00:03:22,859 - [Sudzo] Whoa! - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 99 00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:23,692 - It sounds funny. 100 00:03:23,693 --> 00:03:25,829 - It was pretty traumatic for her family, I think. 101 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:26,699 - Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. 102 00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:29,249 And then bubbles started coming out of my mouth. 103 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:31,109 - Wow. - I'm able to 104 00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:33,338 create bubbles, I believe, and- 105 00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:34,229 - What do you mean you believe? 106 00:03:34,230 --> 00:03:36,449 - Well, I've been trying to create my own bubbles. 107 00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:40,139 The best I could do is like, make one in my mouth- 108 00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:41,261 - Okay. Let's see. - And then hope 109 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:42,427 that it flies away. 110 00:03:42,428 --> 00:03:43,478 - Okay. 111 00:03:44,310 --> 00:03:46,365 Okay. (chuckles) 112 00:03:46,366 --> 00:03:47,789 - Did it go up? - No. 113 00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:49,709 - But, you know, there has to be something, 114 00:03:49,710 --> 00:03:51,269 because, you know, when I woke up 115 00:03:51,270 --> 00:03:52,949 and I realized that I'm still alive, 116 00:03:52,950 --> 00:03:54,329 I looked into the mirror, 117 00:03:54,330 --> 00:03:56,189 realized that I looked completely different 118 00:03:56,190 --> 00:03:57,299 than I did before. - Sure. 119 00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,429 - And was hoping there'd be something positive to it. 120 00:03:59,430 --> 00:04:01,649 I lost the ears and everything, and I'm just like- 121 00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:02,482 - Oh, I didn't even see that. 122 00:04:02,483 --> 00:04:03,449 - Oh no, they're gone. 123 00:04:03,450 --> 00:04:04,769 - Okay, how is that affecting things? 124 00:04:04,770 --> 00:04:05,729 Can you hear what I'm saying right now? 125 00:04:05,730 --> 00:04:06,562 - Weirdly, I can. 126 00:04:06,563 --> 00:04:08,399 I think I can hear through my mouth 127 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:09,749 or something now. - Echolocation. 128 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:10,799 - Is that a superpower? 129 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:11,669 - I mean, I guess it could be. 130 00:04:11,670 --> 00:04:12,899 It kind of depends on the range. 131 00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:14,069 Here, let's test it out, all right? 132 00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:15,449 I'm gonna sort of hide somewhere, 133 00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:16,559 and you use your echolocation 134 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,759 to see if you can find me, okay? 135 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:18,869 So close your eyes. 136 00:04:18,870 --> 00:04:19,949 I'm gonna make it hard. 137 00:04:19,950 --> 00:04:21,000 - Okay. 138 00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:25,142 - Okay. 139 00:04:25,143 --> 00:04:26,193 - Ah! 140 00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:28,621 Ah! 141 00:04:29,461 --> 00:04:31,409 I don't have it. 142 00:04:31,410 --> 00:04:34,619 - Okay, so maybe, so then maybe no on the echolocation. 143 00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:35,452 - Yeah, I don't have it. 144 00:04:35,453 --> 00:04:37,739 - I was also really well hidden, so I don't blame you. 145 00:04:37,740 --> 00:04:39,359 And I'm sure that there's lots of other superpowers 146 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:40,319 that you could have. - [Sudzo] Yeah. Yeah, I mean, 147 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,359 I feel lighter than I used to. 148 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,739 - Oh. - Maybe my weight 149 00:04:43,740 --> 00:04:44,572 has gone down. 150 00:04:44,573 --> 00:04:45,719 - Could that be from sort of the stress, 151 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,089 and also, have you been eating much since you transformed? 152 00:04:48,090 --> 00:04:48,922 - You know what? No. 153 00:04:48,923 --> 00:04:50,669 Everything tastes like cilantro. 154 00:04:50,670 --> 00:04:52,199 - Oh, so then maybe that's it. 155 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,149 I have heard you've sort of shown interest 156 00:04:54,150 --> 00:04:56,759 in joining our regional superheroes, The Justice Folks. 157 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:57,592 Is that true? 158 00:04:57,593 --> 00:04:59,069 - I mean, if I could get with the Folks, 159 00:04:59,070 --> 00:04:59,902 that would be awesome. 160 00:04:59,903 --> 00:05:02,159 - We've got Great Man. He's the hero, he can fly. 161 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,599 - He can punch through walls. 162 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:04,432 - You have A-Lady. 163 00:05:04,433 --> 00:05:07,379 - A-Lady is able to like, you know, always be first. 164 00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:09,689 - She's first, she's shattering glass ceilings. 165 00:05:09,690 --> 00:05:10,799 - Also a good listener. 166 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:11,879 And then there's Sandman. 167 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,679 - Sandman, of course, who sort of gathers the sand 168 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,119 and is able to shoot it back out. 169 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:16,919 Well, you had a meeting last week with Great Man. 170 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,229 - I met with Grape Man and Great Man. 171 00:05:19,230 --> 00:05:20,879 - Well, Grape Man is famously the head 172 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,019 of the evil cohort, The Bad Folks. 173 00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:24,149 - Yeah, and he's always so drunk on himself. 174 00:05:24,150 --> 00:05:24,989 - So right now, we're sort of, 175 00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:26,099 we're taking meetings with everybody. 176 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,239 - So I'm taking meetings with both, 177 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,829 just because I'm like, where do I stand? 178 00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:30,899 I figured, let me get a suit, 179 00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:34,019 so my auntie made this suit for me. 180 00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:34,919 - It's a great suit. 181 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,439 - I kept the colors kind of bubble-esque, 182 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,749 just so if I decide, 183 00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:42,209 not that anybody decides to go bad. 184 00:05:42,210 --> 00:05:43,469 - Sure. - You know, they're just 185 00:05:43,470 --> 00:05:44,789 traumatized by something, 186 00:05:44,790 --> 00:05:46,019 and then, you know, the way 187 00:05:46,020 --> 00:05:50,219 that they handle themselves afterwards feels negative. 188 00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:51,809 - Are you considering going bad? 189 00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:55,289 - Well, I just feel like I look terrible, 190 00:05:55,290 --> 00:05:56,909 and people respond to me 191 00:05:56,910 --> 00:05:58,349 as a negative thing- - No. 192 00:05:58,350 --> 00:06:01,649 - So then I respond back of saying, "I'm here to help. 193 00:06:01,650 --> 00:06:05,039 If you don't want my help, I can hurt you, I guess." 194 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,029 - Oh, 'kay. 195 00:06:06,030 --> 00:06:08,219 - But that's just because I'm reacting. 196 00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:10,049 - Well, I can see you're feeling a little bit torn, 197 00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:12,389 so we actually have a personality test- 198 00:06:12,390 --> 00:06:13,289 - Oh. - [Vic] We would like to help 199 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,122 run on you - Okay. 200 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:15,372 to sort of see if this can help us 201 00:06:15,373 --> 00:06:16,619 figure out where our feelings 202 00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:17,825 on this lie. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 203 00:06:17,826 --> 00:06:19,649 (mellow music) 204 00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:20,969 - One. How would you describe yourself? 205 00:06:20,970 --> 00:06:21,809 - Alone. 206 00:06:21,810 --> 00:06:24,539 - Sort of a state of being, rather than a personality trait, 207 00:06:24,540 --> 00:06:25,769 and that's really interesting. 208 00:06:25,770 --> 00:06:26,602 - What do you mean? 209 00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:27,449 - Like, how I would answer that is, 210 00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:29,969 I would describe myself as a news anchor. 211 00:06:29,970 --> 00:06:31,199 - Okay. Do put that for me. 212 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:32,699 - Well, you're not a news anchor. I'm a news anchor. 213 00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:33,632 You don't wanna be a news anchor. 214 00:06:33,633 --> 00:06:34,919 - Why? - 'Cause there's a limited 215 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:35,752 amount of spots for that, 216 00:06:35,753 --> 00:06:37,199 and we're all sort of competing for 'em. 217 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,249 - Hmm. - [Vic] Okay. Next. 218 00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:41,189 What usually triggers your anger or frustration? 219 00:06:41,190 --> 00:06:42,059 - Everyone. 220 00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:43,349 - [Vic] Everyone. Okay. 221 00:06:43,350 --> 00:06:45,599 How do you usually approach big decisions? 222 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:46,439 - I handle them. 223 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,209 - Handle could mean so many things. 224 00:06:48,210 --> 00:06:50,189 - Give me something that I have to decide on. 225 00:06:50,190 --> 00:06:51,509 - What do you want for lunch today? 226 00:06:51,510 --> 00:06:52,560 - Food. 227 00:06:52,561 --> 00:06:55,139 - Do you want something hot? Do you want something cold? 228 00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:56,009 Who am I gonna sit with? 229 00:06:56,010 --> 00:06:57,989 - I want something hot, and I will sit by myself. 230 00:06:57,990 --> 00:06:59,227 - Okay, so we'll say handle them. I think that- 231 00:06:59,228 --> 00:07:00,060 - Yeah, I handled that one- 232 00:07:00,061 --> 00:07:00,893 - [Vic] That's a fine enough answer. 233 00:07:00,894 --> 00:07:01,726 - Really quick, didn't I? 234 00:07:01,727 --> 00:07:02,559 - [Vic] Last but not least. 235 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,175 If you could sum up your personality 236 00:07:04,176 --> 00:07:06,779 in a single metaphor or image, what would it be? 237 00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:08,159 - I mean, now, it's a bubble. 238 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,659 - Fragile, but beautiful. 239 00:07:09,660 --> 00:07:11,429 - I was gonna say easily popped. 240 00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:14,579 - That's interesting, and your personality type is. 241 00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:16,499 Oh, inconclusive. - Hmm. 242 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:18,419 - These things, honestly, I think are kind of rigged anyway, 243 00:07:18,420 --> 00:07:20,219 'cause when I took it, it said I was a narcissist, 244 00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:21,719 and I was like, that's not right. 245 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:23,549 So we'll go ahead and we'll get a PA to grab this. 246 00:07:23,550 --> 00:07:25,829 There's infinite ways in which we can figure out 247 00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:27,776 whether or not we're a good superhero or bad superhero. 248 00:07:27,777 --> 00:07:28,609 - Yes. 249 00:07:28,610 --> 00:07:29,775 - A big way to get into it is like, 250 00:07:29,776 --> 00:07:30,899 every superhero has a big pose that they do, 251 00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:31,732 you know what I mean? 252 00:07:31,733 --> 00:07:33,329 What pose would you make if it was sort of like, you know, 253 00:07:33,330 --> 00:07:35,549 oh, there's like, a little child in a tree. 254 00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:36,989 - (claps) Kid. 255 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,099 - You're clapping at the kid? 256 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:39,209 - Yeah, he's in a tree, right, so- 257 00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:40,289 - Why are you doing this? 258 00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:41,699 - 'Cause I'm wondering what he's doing up there. 259 00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:42,629 How'd you get there? 260 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,369 - My kite got stuck in the tree, 261 00:07:44,370 --> 00:07:45,689 and so I had to climb up and get it. 262 00:07:45,690 --> 00:07:46,649 - You went after it? 263 00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:48,869 - I ran after my kite, and my babysitter got lost. 264 00:07:48,870 --> 00:07:50,159 - You gotta get a new babysitter. 265 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:51,936 How much are your babysitter getting paid? 266 00:07:51,937 --> 00:07:53,459 - $25 an hour. 267 00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:54,449 - Oh. 268 00:07:54,450 --> 00:07:55,619 - What? Can you help me? 269 00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:56,999 - Yeah, I mean, I could do that. 270 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,167 - Then please do. 271 00:07:58,168 --> 00:07:59,886 - No, no, no, no. I could be your, like, babysitter. 272 00:07:59,887 --> 00:08:01,169 $25? An hour? 273 00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:02,829 - Okay, so maybe we just do a different one. 274 00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:04,469 - Wait, wait, wait. 275 00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:05,639 Is this real? - What do you mean? 276 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:06,479 - You know these people? 277 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,459 - No, so this is sort of an exercise that we're doing 278 00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:11,399 to sort of like, help you come up with some superhero poses 279 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:12,389 so you don't go evil. 280 00:08:12,390 --> 00:08:13,409 - Okay. - Let's try a different one. 281 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,869 Okay, so maybe there's somebody over here, and they're like, 282 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,849 help, someone's stolen my purse! 283 00:08:17,850 --> 00:08:18,682 - What was in there? 284 00:08:18,683 --> 00:08:20,519 - A hundred dollars and- - [Sudzo] Oh. 285 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:21,389 Do you have a job? 286 00:08:21,390 --> 00:08:22,679 - Yes, I just retired 287 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,959 from being an administrative assistant. 288 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,399 - Oh, so you got another hundred dollars. 289 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,409 For us to run after that feels like a lot of work- 290 00:08:28,410 --> 00:08:29,699 - The purse is an heirloom. 291 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:31,109 - An heirloom, and you're walking around 292 00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:32,129 on the street with it? 293 00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:33,599 - Okay. - If it's an heirloom, 294 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,239 you keep it in your closet or you lock it up. 295 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:37,079 - Time. Time out. 296 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,865 And we're gonna cut to a commercial break. 297 00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:41,099 (camera shutter clicks) 298 00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:42,689 Hi, I'm Vic Michaelis, 299 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:44,759 and today, we are having a Mindfulness Minute, 300 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:45,899 presented by Chompsky's, 301 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,959 America's tastiest, heartiest, mindfulest chip. 302 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,547 Okay, and start the timer. 303 00:08:50,548 --> 00:08:51,730 (chips crunch) 304 00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:54,455 (clock ticking) (serene music) 305 00:08:54,456 --> 00:08:55,748 (Vic exhales) 306 00:08:55,866 --> 00:08:57,929 And time. (clap) 307 00:08:57,930 --> 00:08:59,039 Amazing. 308 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,011 I feel better, and I know you do, too. 309 00:09:01,012 --> 00:09:02,159 (camera shutter clicking) 310 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,622 And I just can't have you turning evil on my show. 311 00:09:03,623 --> 00:09:04,829 - No, no, no, no. 312 00:09:04,830 --> 00:09:06,209 I'm just letting you know 313 00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:09,809 that all of these scenarios just seem really easy 314 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:13,559 to handle without a superhero involved. 315 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:15,929 Like, that purse scenario, I'm like, 316 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:18,659 if it's an heirloom and she's got a hundred dollars, 317 00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:20,249 like, I'll take it, you know what I mean? 318 00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:21,299 - You're saying you would steal her purse? 319 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,799 - I'll just take it. I don't steal. 320 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,779 - What's the difference between taking it and stealing it? 321 00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:26,339 You know what I mean? It seems like a semantic. 322 00:09:26,340 --> 00:09:27,299 It seems like if you're taking something, 323 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,132 you're stealing it- - Okay. 324 00:09:28,133 --> 00:09:28,965 Then let's talk semantics. 325 00:09:28,966 --> 00:09:29,909 Shit. What the? 326 00:09:29,910 --> 00:09:30,869 - No. Hey, come on. - What is this? 327 00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,339 - Hey, you cannot be a bad guy. 328 00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:33,359 - Let's play a scenario. 329 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,229 Let's do another scenario. - [Vic] Just for this, okay. 330 00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:35,705 We're gonna do another scenario and you're gonna do it right 331 00:09:35,706 --> 00:09:36,869 and you're gonna be a good guy, okay, 332 00:09:36,870 --> 00:09:37,709 because I need the headline to be, 333 00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,059 Vic Michaelis Saves Another Person. 334 00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:40,799 - Okay, fine. - Final scenario here. 335 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:41,999 Oh, I got a great one. 336 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,639 There's an entire office building that's on fire. 337 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,333 You run into the building to save everybody. So ready? 338 00:09:47,334 --> 00:09:48,195 Oh no! 339 00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:49,859 Oh no, the office is on fire! 340 00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:50,910 - Get out. 341 00:09:50,911 --> 00:09:52,612 Get out of there. 342 00:09:52,613 --> 00:09:54,989 - I wish we could, but the door is blocked. 343 00:09:54,990 --> 00:09:56,369 - So I'm stuck in here, too? 344 00:09:56,370 --> 00:09:57,929 I'm outta here, man. 345 00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,699 - Okay, no, you can't. And the door is blocked. 346 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:00,899 The door is blocked, 'cause it's on fire, 347 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,539 and you've opened it and you've saved us. 348 00:10:03,540 --> 00:10:05,789 Thank you, Sudzo! Our hero! 349 00:10:05,790 --> 00:10:07,049 - You didn't check this door? 350 00:10:07,050 --> 00:10:08,069 - Huh? (laughs) 351 00:10:08,070 --> 00:10:08,999 - You guys are idiots 352 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:09,832 in here, man. - Okay, so. 353 00:10:09,833 --> 00:10:10,889 - What do you guys do in this office? 354 00:10:10,890 --> 00:10:12,029 - It's an insurance firm. 355 00:10:12,030 --> 00:10:12,869 - How much do they get paid? 356 00:10:12,870 --> 00:10:14,252 - I dunno, they're making $100,000 a year. 357 00:10:14,253 --> 00:10:16,242 - $100,000 each? - [Vic] You saved everyone. 358 00:10:16,243 --> 00:10:17,579 - I would set that place on fire 359 00:10:17,580 --> 00:10:18,467 and just take- - We're gonna sort of- 360 00:10:18,468 --> 00:10:19,469 (Vic mimics bubbles burbling) 361 00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:20,302 That's sort of a bubble noise. 362 00:10:20,303 --> 00:10:21,479 - Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. - [Vic] Okay? 363 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:22,529 We're gonna sort of shake that off. 364 00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:23,969 - Hmm. - We got a fun segment 365 00:10:23,970 --> 00:10:24,869 called What's In My Bag. 366 00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:25,859 - Let's do it! - [Vic] All right, 367 00:10:25,860 --> 00:10:28,432 let's have a PA fly in Sudzo's bag. 368 00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:30,389 (mellow music) 369 00:10:30,390 --> 00:10:32,279 - Did you look what was inside of it? 370 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:33,119 - Well, we're about to do that 371 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:34,079 right now. - I know, but did you 372 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,759 look through my stuff? 373 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:36,809 Hey. - Oh, no. 374 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:37,949 - Bro. - It's. No, he's- 375 00:10:37,950 --> 00:10:39,011 - Did you look through my stuff? 376 00:10:39,012 --> 00:10:39,957 - He's sort of, and it's okay. 377 00:10:39,958 --> 00:10:40,790 No! No, no, no, no. 378 00:10:40,791 --> 00:10:43,049 - I'm just wondering, like if he's grabbing my bag. 379 00:10:43,050 --> 00:10:45,419 - We are so appreciative of our PA, 380 00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:46,409 and we also can't let him talk, 381 00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:48,449 'cause then that sort of is, it's a SAG thing. 382 00:10:48,450 --> 00:10:50,039 So if we can go ahead and take a seat. 383 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,139 - I'm just wondering if he went through my bag. 384 00:10:52,140 --> 00:10:53,579 - Well, we're about to go- - Before the- 385 00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:55,019 We will, because it's a segment, 386 00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:57,959 but prior to it, did he check to see what was inside? 387 00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,249 - Maybe, and maybe not, and also, 388 00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:00,082 I don't really see- - Just let me- 389 00:11:00,083 --> 00:11:01,109 - Are you worried that he stole something 390 00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:01,949 or just that he looked? 391 00:11:01,950 --> 00:11:03,299 - Just give me his first and last name, 392 00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:04,799 that's all, when I leave. - Okay. I'm not gonna do that. 393 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,049 - What's in my bag? - Okay, so first and foremost, 394 00:11:07,050 --> 00:11:08,549 we have, okay. 395 00:11:08,550 --> 00:11:10,469 1, 2, 3, 4, 5- - [Sudzo] Yeah. 396 00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:11,969 - Red cups. - You see that movie? 397 00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:13,020 - Which one? 398 00:11:13,351 --> 00:11:15,329 Okay. (chuckles) 399 00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:17,669 Oh, "Pitch Perfect". - [Sudzo] Yes. 400 00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:19,000 - Okay, give us a little taste. 401 00:11:19,001 --> 00:11:22,059 ? Oh, what a feeling ? 402 00:11:22,060 --> 00:11:24,013 ? When you're dancing on it ? 403 00:11:24,014 --> 00:11:24,986 - Okay. (chuckles) 404 00:11:24,987 --> 00:11:26,609 And so there we go, and there's that. 405 00:11:26,610 --> 00:11:28,469 Okay, next. Okay. 406 00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:29,302 - It's tomato ketchup. 407 00:11:29,303 --> 00:11:31,169 - So you just have a whole bottle of ketchup in your bag? 408 00:11:31,170 --> 00:11:34,799 - Well, you know, sometimes, they have the wrong type- 409 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,509 - Of ketchup? - At a restaurant, yeah. 410 00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:38,189 - They sort of make small packets for that. 411 00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:39,329 - Mm. - [Vic] Okay. 412 00:11:39,330 --> 00:11:40,162 And so you- 413 00:11:40,163 --> 00:11:42,209 - I use a lot of ketchup in each of my things. 414 00:11:42,210 --> 00:11:44,429 And every once in a while, if they don't have something, 415 00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:45,809 I put some ketchup in a cup. 416 00:11:45,810 --> 00:11:46,889 - One of your playing cups. 417 00:11:46,890 --> 00:11:49,199 - One of my playing cups, and I just get a new cup, I mean. 418 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,249 - Sure, a cheap cup. 419 00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:52,109 - I don't know. Is that cheap for you? 420 00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:53,219 How much you make on this? 421 00:11:53,220 --> 00:11:55,049 - I'm not telling you that. That's not important. 422 00:11:55,050 --> 00:11:56,339 As a group, as here, 423 00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,719 we're sort of all making the same amount 424 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:58,769 in the sense that we all walk out 425 00:11:58,770 --> 00:12:00,719 with the same sense of accomplishment, right? 426 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:01,679 - Hmm. Everybody makes the same amount. 427 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:02,519 - No, it's very different, 428 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:03,959 and we're actually not allowed to talk about it. 429 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:04,792 - Oh. 430 00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:06,269 - Okay. We got some soup. 431 00:12:06,270 --> 00:12:07,799 Big fan of tomato sauces. 432 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,949 - I'm a big fan of things that are red and tomato sauces, 433 00:12:10,950 --> 00:12:13,049 just because everything I do now is blue. 434 00:12:13,050 --> 00:12:14,279 - You wanna be purple? 435 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:17,189 - Purple feels like figured some stuff out, 436 00:12:17,190 --> 00:12:18,989 feels comfortable in their own skin. 437 00:12:18,990 --> 00:12:20,519 - Sure. - They're different now, 438 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,979 but like, possibly in a bad way. 439 00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:24,239 - But probably in a good way. 440 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,879 - But then purple is also like what a bruise is. 441 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,409 You know, like what a bruise looks like 442 00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:29,519 when it's at its worst. 443 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:30,719 - Metaphorically. 444 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,479 - Yeah, and it hurts to touch, 445 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,879 so then it fights back. 446 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,088 - It metaphorically fights back by being good. 447 00:12:39,089 --> 00:12:40,169 - It could, but I doubt it. 448 00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:41,002 - Okay, well, you know what? 449 00:12:41,003 --> 00:12:42,809 Let's move on to sort of our last item in the bag, 450 00:12:42,810 --> 00:12:46,019 and that is, oh, a beautiful sixth place ribbon. 451 00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:48,176 - Yeah, it was a singing competition 452 00:12:48,177 --> 00:12:50,173 where there was only five people competing. 453 00:12:50,174 --> 00:12:51,029 - Oh, I actually remember this. 454 00:12:51,030 --> 00:12:52,349 Mr. Great got first place. 455 00:12:52,350 --> 00:12:55,499 - Great Man's real name is Joshua, by the way. 456 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:56,609 - You can't say that. 457 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:57,442 We can't say that. 458 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:58,379 - Joshua Williams. 459 00:12:58,380 --> 00:12:59,669 - Okay, we'll cut that. We'll cut that part. 460 00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:00,599 - Obviously, it's him. 461 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,099 You know, he's the newspaper reporter 462 00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:04,739 that gets all of the hot tips about Great Man. 463 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:05,699 That's obvious it's him. 464 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:07,439 - Ah, kidding! - [Sudzo] He looks the same. 465 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,272 - Just kidding! 466 00:13:08,273 --> 00:13:10,919 - Just because he's got a tie, you guys are stupid? 467 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:11,752 Come on, man. 468 00:13:11,753 --> 00:13:12,689 - That's a pretty bad thing to do. 469 00:13:12,690 --> 00:13:14,999 It's a pretty bad thing for a good person to say, 470 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,169 and you're a good person. 471 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,129 - Mm-kay. 472 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,419 - No, not mm-kay. 473 00:13:18,420 --> 00:13:19,529 You are a good person, 474 00:13:19,530 --> 00:13:21,269 and I'm gonna find one good thing about you, 475 00:13:21,270 --> 00:13:23,459 so that way, you can go and live your destiny, 476 00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:24,509 which is to be a superhero, 477 00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:26,429 and then I can get all the credit for it, okay? 478 00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:27,599 - All right. Shoot. - How about this? 479 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,099 I'm gonna ask you some rapid fire questions, and- 480 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,675 - Rapid fire! (mimics machine gun blasting) 481 00:13:30,676 --> 00:13:32,189 - No, that's a bubble wand. 482 00:13:32,190 --> 00:13:33,869 Whoa! Oh, ooh! Whoa! 483 00:13:33,870 --> 00:13:35,009 - Hey, that's mine. I told you. 484 00:13:35,010 --> 00:13:35,977 - Sorry. 485 00:13:35,978 --> 00:13:37,859 (mellow music) 486 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,869 Sudzo, what is your favorite way to relax? 487 00:13:39,870 --> 00:13:41,699 - Just like sitting in a dark room. 488 00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,289 - You like to meditate? - I like to meditate. 489 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:44,489 Yeah, yeah. - [Vic] I love that. 490 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,559 I have an exercise that I do, which is I say a word, 491 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:47,756 and then they say the first word that comes back- 492 00:13:47,757 --> 00:13:48,719 - Oh. Okay. - [Vic] To their mind. 493 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,489 So I'll say like, friendship. 494 00:13:50,490 --> 00:13:51,569 - Who? - [Vic] Okay. 495 00:13:51,570 --> 00:13:52,799 Good. - Riddance. 496 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,359 - What about this? Helping. 497 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:55,192 - Hands. 498 00:13:55,193 --> 00:13:57,059 - Helping hands! What a wonderful thought! 499 00:13:57,060 --> 00:13:59,459 - Yeah, 'cause it makes me think of my hands 500 00:13:59,460 --> 00:14:01,679 helping your throat. 501 00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:02,699 - Like somebody's choking. 502 00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:04,319 - Well, yeah, somebody's choking, 503 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:05,639 because of these, 504 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,529 and then there's a moment where you're like, 505 00:14:07,530 --> 00:14:09,214 oh, you're scared. 506 00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:11,459 - Can I ask you, 507 00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:13,409 did you kill somebody before you became a superhero? 508 00:14:13,410 --> 00:14:15,329 - Did I kill somebody before? - Well, you were just saying 509 00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:16,162 like, helping hands. 510 00:14:16,163 --> 00:14:17,369 You've only been a superhero for two weeks. 511 00:14:17,370 --> 00:14:18,359 - I know. Isn't it crazy? 512 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:19,589 - I'm just having a hard time deciphering, 513 00:14:19,590 --> 00:14:21,179 were you like this prior to this? 514 00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:22,826 - Oh, before. No, I was Frederick before this. 515 00:14:22,827 --> 00:14:23,956 - No, I understand you were Frederick- 516 00:14:23,957 --> 00:14:24,789 - I'm Sudzo now. 517 00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:25,622 - [Vic] Before this, I'm saying, 518 00:14:25,623 --> 00:14:26,455 were you a sociopath before this? 519 00:14:26,456 --> 00:14:27,288 - What is that? 520 00:14:27,289 --> 00:14:28,121 - [Vic] Just somebody that can't 521 00:14:28,122 --> 00:14:29,789 understand that other people have thoughts and feelings. 522 00:14:29,790 --> 00:14:31,199 - Oh, I understand that they have thoughts, 523 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:34,289 but does it matter if you don't care? 524 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,429 - I think that's maybe a big part of it, 525 00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:36,262 but you know what, I think that's okay, 526 00:14:36,263 --> 00:14:37,979 'cause sometimes those that think different 527 00:14:37,980 --> 00:14:39,989 can do the most good in the world, right? 528 00:14:39,990 --> 00:14:40,822 You think a little bit different, 529 00:14:40,823 --> 00:14:42,119 so you see things a little bit different and you can help. 530 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:43,376 - Oh, yeah. I see things totally different. 531 00:14:43,377 --> 00:14:45,179 - Oh, oh, this is a really great one. 532 00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:47,489 How would you describe your sense of style? 533 00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:50,759 - My auntie gave me this light blue suit. 534 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:51,592 - Let's say outside of this- 535 00:14:51,593 --> 00:14:53,519 - And I never wore tight stuff before, 536 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,879 and she was like, "It makes you look like a superhero." 537 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,739 And I'm like, "Does it?" 538 00:14:58,740 --> 00:15:00,971 - Sounds like she cared enough to make something for you. 539 00:15:00,972 --> 00:15:02,489 - I don't know. I don't know where she is now. 540 00:15:02,490 --> 00:15:03,749 - How do you not know where your aunt is? 541 00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:05,230 - Well, I said thank you 542 00:15:06,260 --> 00:15:08,171 in a weird way, I guess. 543 00:15:08,172 --> 00:15:09,004 - What? (chuckles) 544 00:15:09,005 --> 00:15:10,139 - [Sudzo] I gave her a hug. 545 00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:11,489 - Okay. - Like this. 546 00:15:11,490 --> 00:15:13,259 - No. (chuckles) No, you can't say that. 547 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,089 - With my helpful hands. - Ah. 548 00:15:15,090 --> 00:15:16,247 - Your judgment comes in 549 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,309 real hot. - No, I'm not judging, 550 00:15:17,310 --> 00:15:18,142 and so we're gonna go ahead 551 00:15:18,143 --> 00:15:18,975 and we're gonna ask another question. 552 00:15:18,976 --> 00:15:19,829 Okay, how about this? 553 00:15:19,830 --> 00:15:21,269 What are you gonna be for Halloween? 554 00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:24,329 - I was hoping to be the "Blue's Clues" guy. 555 00:15:24,330 --> 00:15:25,162 - Oh, sure. 556 00:15:25,163 --> 00:15:27,539 - But I think now, that would look weird. 557 00:15:27,540 --> 00:15:28,372 - Because of the bubbles? 558 00:15:28,373 --> 00:15:30,419 Well, it's a costume. You can sort of suspend disbelief. 559 00:15:30,420 --> 00:15:32,039 - I hope people could. 560 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,089 I doubt they will. 561 00:15:33,090 --> 00:15:34,799 - So you're sort of saying the bubbles would be distracting. 562 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:35,999 - It'll all be distracting, 563 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,579 and they would, I could feel the judgment, 564 00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:41,469 so Halloween is probably gonna be a day I stay in. 565 00:15:41,470 --> 00:15:43,739 - And I think that's absolutely a fair and valid choice. 566 00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:45,149 - And maybe I don't have a problem. 567 00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:46,619 Maybe you have the problem. 568 00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:49,679 Maybe everybody out there has the problem, 569 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:53,519 and maybe it's my job to help you solve those problems. 570 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:57,209 Maybe I should start fires in buildings, put kids in trees, 571 00:15:57,210 --> 00:16:00,149 take people's purses, so that you, for the first time, 572 00:16:00,150 --> 00:16:01,379 have to deal with it, 573 00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:04,049 and make you realize that you're a bad person. 574 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,999 Maybe that everybody out there are bad people. 575 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:06,832 Is this one on? 576 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,309 - Okay, you're sort of rallying the crew. 577 00:16:08,310 --> 00:16:09,839 So, you know, I think, you know, hey. 578 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,129 Hey, you know what? - How much do you make, man? 579 00:16:11,130 --> 00:16:12,059 - No, you can't ask that. 580 00:16:12,060 --> 00:16:13,725 - This one's got a tripod. You're holding yours. 581 00:16:13,726 --> 00:16:14,592 - Sudzo. Hey. 582 00:16:14,593 --> 00:16:15,425 - [Sudzo] So are you making more? 583 00:16:15,426 --> 00:16:16,366 - Sudzo. Sudzo. 584 00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:17,199 Sudzo. - [Sudzo] Think about it. 585 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,032 - Okay, so. - You can't. 586 00:16:18,033 --> 00:16:19,559 I didn't give this to you! 587 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:20,609 - I didn't give it back to you! 588 00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:21,622 - You're wasting the battery. - [Vic] Sudzo, 589 00:16:21,623 --> 00:16:23,219 I think what you're not realizing is, 590 00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:25,229 so many people feel like you, you know what I mean? 591 00:16:25,230 --> 00:16:28,109 So many people feel like life has has been built up 592 00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:29,399 around and against them, 593 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,959 and that there's nothing that they can do about it, 594 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,879 and what if you channeled this 595 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:34,649 and you did something positive with it? 596 00:16:34,650 --> 00:16:36,539 You showed all of those people 597 00:16:36,540 --> 00:16:38,789 that there's a way forward, and it's together, 598 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,919 and you could sort of be the leader of those people 599 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,199 and a way to make positive change for the world. 600 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:44,249 - So there's people out there 601 00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:45,929 that believe the same thing that I believe? 602 00:16:45,930 --> 00:16:46,762 - Yes. 603 00:16:46,763 --> 00:16:50,159 - So I could have like a whole group of people behind me, 604 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,159 fighting for the same thing that I'm fighting for. 605 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,606 - Yes, exactly! 606 00:16:53,607 --> 00:16:55,439 - [Sudzo] And that would be all of the people 607 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,899 that treated us the way that they've treated us, 608 00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:02,137 so then ultimately, we, as a group, 609 00:17:02,138 --> 00:17:03,278 (brooding heroic music) 610 00:17:03,279 --> 00:17:04,287 could fight back- 611 00:17:04,288 --> 00:17:05,129 - Are you monologuing? 612 00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:08,039 - And get rid of all of those people individually. 613 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:08,872 - No. 614 00:17:08,873 --> 00:17:10,349 - I can stand with everybody 615 00:17:10,350 --> 00:17:11,182 that's out there. - I can see you going 616 00:17:11,183 --> 00:17:12,629 to turn on the spotlight, and do not do it. 617 00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:14,909 - Everybody out there, listen to me. 618 00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:17,189 If you are hurt like I am hurt, 619 00:17:17,190 --> 00:17:20,969 go out there and individually use your helpful hands 620 00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:22,169 and put them against- - Don't. 621 00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:23,642 - The throats of the people- - Don't. 622 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,559 - That you are up against. - Turn that off. 623 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,389 - I'm not talking about you with the tripod. 624 00:17:27,390 --> 00:17:29,339 I'm talking to you that has to hold it. 625 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:31,319 Everybody who has to hold their own weight, 626 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:32,939 stop giving gifts. 627 00:17:32,940 --> 00:17:34,130 Take your gifts back. 628 00:17:34,131 --> 00:17:36,299 - Turn off the- - [Sudzo] Clean the streets. 629 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:37,444 Clean the world! 630 00:17:37,445 --> 00:17:39,449 - [Vic] Unplug. And unplug it. 631 00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:40,499 Okay, so there we go. Okay. 632 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:42,705 - [Sudzo] You can hear me, right? Ah! 633 00:17:42,706 --> 00:17:44,999 Ah! - [Vic] Okay. Guess what? 634 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:45,832 If you're gonna be the bad guy, 635 00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:47,069 then I'm gonna be the good guy. 636 00:17:47,070 --> 00:17:48,149 - I'm the bad guy? 637 00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,039 - Yeah, I think I speak for everybody when I say 638 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:52,739 I think that you are unfixable, so. 639 00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:53,609 - Wow. 640 00:17:53,610 --> 00:17:54,839 - [Vic] What? 641 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,909 - Unfixable? (somber music) 642 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:57,899 - No. - Woof. 643 00:17:57,900 --> 00:17:59,039 - No, you're sort of saying it like- 644 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,029 - That's rough. 645 00:18:00,030 --> 00:18:00,989 - [Vic] No. - Do you hear that? 646 00:18:00,990 --> 00:18:03,839 - No. No. - I'm one of the unfixables. 647 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,029 I'm sure there's people out there 648 00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:09,059 who feel like they are the unfixables. 649 00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:12,209 The ones who feel like, oh, do I feel different? 650 00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:15,449 Am I a former man with ears 651 00:18:15,450 --> 00:18:17,860 that now has a bubble crown? 652 00:18:17,861 --> 00:18:19,010 (somber music continues) 653 00:18:19,011 --> 00:18:20,489 There's gotta be at least one other person 654 00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:23,099 who was fucking doing laundry at the same time I was 655 00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:25,289 and probably had the same situation. 656 00:18:25,290 --> 00:18:26,819 - There was, and she died, remember? 657 00:18:26,820 --> 00:18:28,658 - Oh, fuck. Yeah. 658 00:18:28,659 --> 00:18:29,819 Tck. 659 00:18:29,820 --> 00:18:30,899 I would've killed her, though. 660 00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:32,039 - Okay, I'm Vic Michaelis, reminding you 661 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,649 to be true to yourself unless you'd rather be somebody else. 662 00:18:34,650 --> 00:18:36,325 Goodnight. (pensive music) 663 00:18:37,428 --> 00:18:38,579 - There. 664 00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:39,412 Thank you. 665 00:18:39,413 --> 00:18:41,819 - You had such an opportunity 666 00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:43,889 to do something to make something of yourself. 667 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,667 - Oh, man. And I took it, huh? 668 00:18:45,668 --> 00:18:47,369 - (chuckles) No. 669 00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:49,679 - I didn't realize how good of friends we became over this. 670 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,389 - No, we didn't become friends, and I'm not endorsing this. 671 00:18:51,390 --> 00:18:52,287 - How much do you make on this? 672 00:18:52,288 --> 00:18:54,878 - No, I'm not telling you how much I make on this show. 673 00:18:55,806 --> 00:18:58,401 (explosion booms) (dramatic music) 674 00:18:58,402 --> 00:19:02,404 (bubbles burbling) (heroic music) 675 00:19:02,405 --> 00:19:03,911 (victim screaming) 676 00:19:03,912 --> 00:19:05,772 (punches smacking) (combatants grunt) 677 00:19:05,773 --> 00:19:08,909 (cups clattering) (bubbles burbling) 678 00:19:08,910 --> 00:19:11,435 (fire roaring) 679 00:19:11,436 --> 00:19:16,436 (sirens blaring) (footsteps thudding) 680 00:19:17,475 --> 00:19:20,041 (lasers buzzing) 681 00:19:20,042 --> 00:19:22,792 (heroic music) (footsteps thudding) 682 00:19:23,827 --> 00:19:26,069 (bubbles burbling) 683 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:30,669 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0